Remuda Ranch

The Isolation of an Eating Disorder

Kari Anderson, MS, LPC, Program Director at Remuda Programs for Eating Disorders

Isolation often accompanies eating disorders, growing in importance as the disorder progresses. Both adults and adolescents with eating disorders evidence a need to isolate. Adolescents often stop all socializing with peers. But they must usually be accountable to parents and therefore cannot completely separate from the world. Adults, especially when unmarried, may isolate from everyone.

This need to isolate may result from common adjunct disorders such as anxiety, panic, or obsessive-compulsive disorder. People with these disorders experience discomfort in social situations and may opt for solitude. Other women may elect to isolate due to interpersonal difficulties such as social phobia, problems relating, or conflict. Yet the primary reason that women with eating disorders choose isolation is to practice their eating disorder without interruption. Eating disorders become the person’s primary focus and interest, and relationships fade into the background.

Those with anorexia often isolate as their disorder becomes visually apparent, avoiding social interaction because it no longer garners positive feedback. In the early stages, the woman often receives positive comments about her weight loss and thin appearance. At some point, comments turn negative, with friends, relatives, and colleagues telling her she must eat more and that her dieting has gone too far. Because of her need to protect her eating disorder, these words are unwelcome. She also avoids social gatherings because they often involve food, which she will not eat. Instead, the woman with anorexia wants and needs time to practice the eating disorder, with its variety of rules, guidelines, and elaborate food rituals. The process she must go through to prepare and consume food may take hours. This could involve over-cooking food, adding many condiments, or displaying food in an unappealing or unattractive fashion--anything to guarantee the food’s undesirability to ensure that she will not overeat. These games which she plays with her mind must be done privately. In addition, the longer she is in the disorder, the fewer foods she will allow herself to eat. These various food rituals and behaviors make complete sense to her, but because they are so unusual and focused, they exclude other people.

By definition, bulimia requires a great deal of time alone. This time is spent acquiring tremendous quantities of food, ingesting it, purging it through vomiting or exercise, and then getting rid of the evidence, such as wrappers, food containers, and bags. Frequently, steps must be taken to replace the missing food. Each of these steps may be highly ritualized. These behaviors also engender intense feelings of guilt and shame. Remaining alone ensures that these activities of which she is ashamed will remain secret. Women with bulimia may also avoid people due to negative social commentary. Since these women tend to fall in the average to above-average weight range, they are often criticized for being overweight.

Though time alone is easier to achieve for single women, even married women and mothers find creative ways to get the time they need. Some work longer hours to avoid family meals, while others opt to work nights or swing shifts in order to guarantee that when they are home they are alone. Some women with eating disorders choose to be homemakers, giving them the opportunity to practice their eating disorder throughout the day when husband and children are away at work and school. In extreme cases, the illness may become so dominant that a woman will neglect her children in order to be alone and practice her eating disorder.

Clearly, isolation promotes the eating disorder and is often a necessary component thereof. Alone in the world of her eating disorder, a woman may be consumed by obsessive thoughts about food and calories, weight and fat grams, exercise and self-hatred. Nothing remains to divert her misplaced attention. An odd, distorted solipsism results.

If you or someone you know is struggling with an Eating Disorder, please call Remuda Programs at 1-800-445-1900.